i'm broken.

Note:Cursive is not conducive to the workplace. And I wish this asshole would fucking turn it off, or at least turn it down--or at the very least stop stamping his foot and singing poorly along with it. Good thing it's only a forty-minute CD. I just want the noise to go away so that I can concentrate. I hate background music. But I guess this is fucking karma biting me in the ass. Fuck karma.

apple95% of t...

apple95% of the time,all i want is a way outof this amateur worldinto the big city life,where people matter--at least to themselves.the rest of the time,i spend fearing unknowns,opting for my safe bubbleof comfort and fancy talk.decision time is coming,and it's going to be hard,but i'll have it my wayor take the highwaysomewhere out eastwhere the sun riseshopefully for me.

ugly...

uglypeople tell me i'm attractive,but i don't really believe them.no girls really come onto me.they just tell me i'm attractive.and while that's great to know,it sure doesn't matter at allif no one is ever interestedin more than talking to me--and they don't do that either.i look in the mirror every dayand am more and more disappointed.i still feel like i'm ten,but i look uglier by the minute.more and more, my hair falls off of my head and regrows in really ugly places,and all i feel is fat bulgingeverywhere along my wrinkling bodyeven though i know i'm skinny.and i guess i feel like it'ssome really complicated jokeand that my lot in life isto come to terms with the factthat i will never be sexy...just a character actor.and isn't it strangethat we write these thingscomplaining about everythingwe can think of to complain aboutand then call that art?and the funny thing is:that is the ugliest part,but isn't it poetic?

habitu...

habitually i wake up slowand turn to the computer;my internet dies,and i go running;i come back sweatyand get in the shower;then i eat, eat, eatand drink, drink, drinkall day while i go do things,small things, pointless things,things that cost way too much money,so that i can tire myself to sleep.sometimes, someone calls my phoneor runs into me at some storeand my bullshit plans alter a bit,but this is how i live my life.why is that?

divide...

divided i'm sad again.it's hard to avoid.since we split, i haven't much knownwhat to do with much.i plan all these thingsto fill up my days,but i just think all the time aboutavoiding you.

I'm writing a song...

I'm writing a song. Who knew?

phonecallhi, du...

phonecallhi, dude.i know it's fucking stupidly late,and i probably woke you up,but this needed to be said,and right now is the time:i fucking respect the shitout of you as a person,and it's so awesome thatwe're hanging out again.now, go back to bed.i'm loving you, guy.bye.